Sex and Spirituality

It is the ‘hot topic’ in our society these days. It seems like everyone is talking about sex. Around every corner, lurking to attack our attention, is the topic of sex. It is one of the strongest animal urges that our bodies experience. It is also an important part of our spiritual journey.

Sex is also not a new topic when it comes to our spiritual journey. Saint Paul knew the seriousness of the topic. Through today’s reading we better understand that sex is about self-control.  As human beings, and especially as Christians, we are not mere animals.

Brethren, glorify God in your body and in your spirit which are from God. Now concerning the matters about which you wrote. It is well for a man not to touch a woman. But because of the temptation to immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not rule over her own body, but the husband does; likewise the husband does not rule over his own body, but the wife does. Do not refuse one another except perhaps by agreement for a season, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, lest Satan tempt you through lack of self-control. I say this by way of concession, not of command. I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own special gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is well for them to remain single as I do. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to be aflame with passion. To the married I give charge, not I but the Lord, that the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does, let her remain single or else be reconciled to her husband) – and that the husband should not divorce the wife. To the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her.

1^st Corinthians 6:20;7:1-12

Animals understand sex as nothing more than a biological urge. There is no understanding of his body or her body in animals. Animals must reproduce and therefore must have sex with as many bodies as they can find. There are a few monogamous species, but overall, it is a rarity among animals.

After a quick google search, I found only a handful of non-birds are monogamous. Most birds, like humans, mate for life. Coincidentally, God compares us to ‘birds of the air’ when He wants good things from us. Maybe we can learn more than just a good work ethic from birds.

For humans, the difference is self-control. Ever since Adam and Eve, humanity has always been expected by God to practice self-control. Even among those who are sexually promiscuous, self-control is not the issue. They may not practice self-control when it comes to sex, but in other parts of their life, self-control is paramount.

So, let’s begin there. I believe we can all agree that self-control is a good trait to share among humans. Where the difference lies is when we practice self-control. For a Christian, the answer is always. For a non-Christian, the answer is whenever it suits a need.

When Christ said, “Whoever desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, take up his cross, and follow Me.” (Mark 8.34) He was setting up a challenge for each human being. To be saved, we must learn self-control. Saint Paul doesn’t limit his teaching to sex, although that is the topic of today’s passage.

Sex has always been a topic that preoccupies humanity. Practicing self-control has been the way for Christians to learn we are not just animals seeking to reproduce. Our basic animal urges like sex, violence, power, etc., have always been what sets us apart from other animals.

Self-control stops us from killing our enemies. Self-control stops us from invading our neighbor’s property, or country. Self-control stops us from abusing those who appear to be beneath us. Self-control isn’t about what is fair. Self-control is about being saved.

Saint Paul gives us the vision. We do not practice self-control just for the sake of control. It is a matter of salvation. He says we should not avoid sex with our spouse, “except perhaps by agreement for a season, that you may devote yourselves to prayer.”

In today’s world sex is used for power. If you use sex for power, you sin twice. You lack self-control over sex, AND you lack self-control over power. There are probably other aspects where you lack self-control, but you get the point.

Now the body is not for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.

1^st Corinthians 6.13