Avoid the Fight

It can be so tempting to look across the room at two people arguing and think, “I can solve that.” Just then, the inevitable comes with each calling you to “Take my side. Tell him that he is wrong.” Now you’ve done it. You’ve inserted yourself into something you have to business.

Timothy, my son, in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and silver but also of wood and earthenware, and some for noble use, some for ignoble. If any one purifies himself from what is ignoble, then he will be a vessel for noble use, consecrated and useful to the master of the house, ready for any good work. So shun youthful passions and aim at righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call upon the Lord from a pure heart. Have nothing to do with stupid, senseless controversies; you know that they breed quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kindly to every one, an apt teacher, forbearing, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant that they will repent and come to know the truth, and they may escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.

2^nd Timothy 2:20-26

Among the kernels of great wisdom from Saint Paul today is to have “nothing to do with stupid, senseless controversies.” Now, you’re not only involved, but you also are expected to take sides. Trust me on this. You can’t win by taking sides. Your only choice is to avoid the fight.

Funny thing is most of the time we don’t really care ‘who’ wins. We just want to be the ‘one’ who solved the fight. Our ego won’t ‘let us’ step away. Our pride has blinded us to the real issue, we are supposed to be the peacemakers. Instead, we ‘end up’ with one hating us.

Here’s an alternative approach. Instead of trying to fix the fight, help each one accept the other’s actions. “I can’t tell the other one what to do, but I can help you accept what he chooses.” Instead of deciding who ‘wins’, you can help both win by helping them both honor free will.

We cannot control what others say, think or do. We can only control how we respond. If we respond with, “You can’t do that,” the chances are pretty good we end up in a fight and there are no winners. If we respond with, “Thank you,” and then walk away we both win.

You see what I did there? Today’s post isn’t just about stepping in to ‘solve’ someone else’s fight. It is about avoiding your own fight about stupid things. So what, if something thinks you’re ‘doing it’ wrong. You may in fact be doing it wrong, but why fight about it.

Might be something worth thinking about when you’re making your New Year’s Resolutions.