Sometimes Families Betray Each Other

Nobody enjoys admitting it, but we all know at least one family that suffers from a broken relationship. We don’t often hear about these families on the nightly news. When we do, the story is so egregious, the sensationalist media can’t resist distributing the story. Every now and then we hear about a parent that has betrayed a child and our stomachs churn in agony. Unfortunately, these stories are more common than anyone would like to admit.

Betrayal doesn’t have to be physical or psychological. It can also be spiritual. I regularly meet with people who feel betrayed spiritually by their family. In many cases family members don’t understand Orthodox fervor, so many pious Orthodox Christians are mocked by family members. Some even are told to ‘grow up’ and stop taking Church so seriously. It might not be as sensationalistic as physical abuse or child trafficking, but spiritual betrayal can be damaging, nonetheless.

TIMOTHY, my son, do your best to come to me soon. For Demas, in love with this present world, has deserted me and gone to Thessalonica; Crescens has gone to Galatia, Titus to Dalmatia. Luke alone is with me. Get Mark and bring him with you; for he is very useful in serving me. Tychicos I have sent to Ephesos. When you come, bring the cloak that I left with Carpos at Troas, also the books, and above all the parchments. Alexander the coppersmith did me great harm; the Lord will requite him for his deeds. Beware of him yourself, for he strongly opposed our message. At my first defense no one took my part; all deserted me. May it not be charged against them! But the Lord stood by me and gave me strength to proclaim the message fully, that all the Gentiles might hear it. So I was rescued from the lion’s mouth. The Lord will rescue me from every evil and save me for his heavenly kingdom. To him be the glory for ever and ever. Amen.

2^nd Timothy 4.9-22

In today’s reading, Saint Paul felt alone. His support group, his spiritual family, had left for other cities to spread the Gospel. Without his support group, Saint Paul felt the burden of being a Christian in a pagan world. He was accused. He was beaten. He was imprisoned. He was abandoned by Demas, but he never gave up hope in Christ.

Today Church commemorates Saint Juliana of Nicomedia. When she continued to refuse to betray Christ and stop confessing Him, her own father turned her in to authorities. She was eventually beheaded, but not before her extreme suffering inspired hundreds to become Christians. You can read her brief story here. Take a moment to read her story and come back….

As we approach the Great Feast of Christmas, the Coming in the Flesh of God for our salvation, the issue of family spiritual betrayal rears its ugly head. Many, too many, Orthodox Christians will be pressured to leave Church early to attend Christmas dinner. Some will be mocked for fasting Christmas Eve to receive Holy Communion, rather than enjoy family dinner. Still others will be pressured to skip Church altogether because out of town family only visits once per year. It would be rude to not spend time with them. People ask me, “What should I do?”

It might not be easy, but the only answer is to politely excuse yourself from the family gathering so you can attend Divine Liturgy. You don’t need to make a ‘whole production’ out of your departure. You can stop by the family dinner on your way to Church without eating anything. Keep the fast and you will be blessed. Attend Divine Liturgy for Christmas and you will be blessed.

Your family may betray you, but you don’t have to betray God. It is sad, but it also has been happening since the beginning. You are not alone if your family is against your faith. Stand strong, but with peace whenever possible. Christmas celebrates the coming of God into creation for our salvation. It is worth a bit of struggle. You will be blessed.