True Forgiveness Begins with Coexistence

As you can imagine I meet many who struggle in the art of forgiveness. Many say they can’t seem to forgive no matter how much they try. We’ve been wronged! We can’t get over what they did to us. I’m still angry. I know I should forgive them, but I just can’t. These are all real examples of what I have heard, and they all fall short.

The answer cannot be found in logic. The answer can only be found in understanding what forgiveness is in the first place. There are two Greek words that translate to forgive in English. The Greek word συνχωρω is a compound word that means, to share the same space. The Greek word αφεισω, means to leave behind. So, forgiveness is the art of leaving something behind after we have shared common space with our offender. That something is sin.

Here’s how it works. Someone has lashed out against us, and we are emotionally hurt by the action. The first step is to share the space our offender to understand genuinely what was the cause of the action. This is the hardest, but most crucial step in forgiveness. We can’t consider the cause based on how we were hurt. We MUST ONLY consider the state of the offender. We choose to place ourselves in the same place and ask how we might respond.

Once we have learned how to live in their space, we can merciful. We get an idea of what it must have been like to experience what they experienced. Suddenly, we understand their actions and realize we may even have done the same thing. Now, we truly share the same space and can move on to the next step. Leave it behind. We may even have found we left it behind the moment we appreciated the space they were in.

This is how God forgives. He knows exactly what it is like to be us. He came and shared, and still shares, the same space as we do. He was tempted. He was mocked. He was beaten with words and whips. There is nothing we experienced that He also did not experience. He shares our space, so He can leave it behind when we ask Him. Take a moment and read this passage from Hebrews.

BRETHREN, since we have a high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we have not a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. For every high priest chosen from among men is appointed to act on behalf of men in relation to God, to offer gifts and sacrifices for sins. He can deal gently with the ignorant and wayward, since he himself is beset with weakness. Because of this he is bound to offer sacrifice for his own sins as well as for those of the people. And one does not take the honor upon himself, but he is called by God, just as Aaron was. So also Christ did not exalt himself to be made a high priest, but was appointed by him who said to him, “Thou art my Son, today I have begotten thee”; as he says also in another place, “Thou art a priest forever, after the order of Melchizedek.”

Hebrews 4:14-16;5:1-6

In the absence of Christ ‘walking the Earth’, we have His Church. The Church is His Body on Earth. The Church has experienced everything we experience. The Church has been mocked, attacked, lied about, etc. The Holy Saints of the Church have endured, just as God asks us to endure. So, we can trust that the Church understands our space because the Church shares our space.

Just as God forgives, He has given authority to the Church to forgive. You might even say one of the purposes of the Church IS to forgive. That purpose is lived out in the lives of every Church member. We forgive each other because we share the same space. The Church forgives us because we share the same space. All of us forgive those outside the Church because we share the same space with them as well. We are all children of God.

If you are struggling to forgive someone. Take a moment and truly place yourself in their space. Experience what they must be experiencing. Once you understand their pain, you will find to door to forgiveness in mercy and shared space. You will be able to leave it behind. Ultimately, once you are sharing the same space you will realize you wouldn’t want them to not forgive your actions. Then together, you both leave it behind in peace.

Give it a try…