Willing to Die Vs Wanting to Die

Living in a world that is antagonistic to our faith can be confusing. The world powers fight against Christ and His Church daily. We don’t see the fight as the ancients did, but the fight is there, nonetheless. The ancients were willing to die for Christ but never wanted to die.

IN THOSE DAYS, the apostles departed and came to Caesarea; and we entered the house of Philip the evangelist, who was one of the seven, and stayed with him. And he had four unmarried daughters, who prophesied. While we were staying for some days, a prophet named Agabos came down from Judea. And coming to us he took Paul’s girdle and bound his own feet and hands, and said, “Thus says the Holy Spirit, ‘So shall the Jews at Jerusalem bind the man who owns this girdle and deliver him into the hands of the Gentiles.'” When we heard this, we and the people there begged him not to go up to Jerusalem. Then Paul answered, “What are you doing, weeping and breaking my heart? For I am ready not only to be imprisoned but even to die at Jerusalem for the name of the Lord Jesus.” And when he would not be persuaded, we ceased and said, “The will of the Lord be done.”

Acts 21.8-14

Saint Paul avoided death many times in his ministry, when possible, but the thought of dying for Christ never stopped his work. We can learn a lesson from Saint Paul, and the rest of the martyrs. There is a difference between being willing to die and wanting to die.

There is no such thing as a suicide mission in the Church. There is no example of any saint wanting to be killed. This was not the meaning behind Christ’s promise, “Whoever loses his life for my sake and Gospel will save it.” (Mark 8.35) Losing your life is not the same as taking it.

Our call as Christians is to live according to God’s will, guided by His Church, no matter what the world powers have to say. This has been a continuous challenge throughout church history. The Church didn’t always get it right, but through time the Holy Spirit always saves the Church.

Take the life of Saint Nikeforos the Confessor for example. He is one of many martyrs who stood against the world powers fighting Holy Icons. It took many centuries for the Church to finally win victory, guided by the Holy Spirit, against the iconoclasts.

There are always tensions between the Church and the world, no matter what generation. Yesterday it was Holy Icons. Today the world is fighting Christ and the Church about gender and human sexuality. As with Holy Icons, some in the Church side with the world. Some do not.

I do not side with the world on this topic. Like with Holy Icons, the world has chosen to step away from sacred creation in favor of worldly decadence. The battle about Holy Icons wasn’t about wood and paint. The battle was about the truth of God’s incarnation.

The truth about gender isn’t about ‘who’ takes out the trash or stays home to raise children. The truth about gender and human sexuality is to insist that God created complimentary genders, male and female, to assist each other with salvation. It is always about salvation.

If you search deep into the transgender movement, you will find those who desire to eliminate gender altogether, as if we don’t need each other. The idea that no human being needs another is demonic, not because of sex, but because God created us to need each other.

What does transgenderism have to do with dying? Today’s blog is about standing for the truth within your life, not going out and offering yourself as a sacrifice. As Saint Basil taught, we should not bother with engaging those who merely want to argue. They cannot be convinced.

Saint Paul and Saint Nikeforos both stood for the truth within the Church. They were both willing to endure suffering for the truth. Neither of them invited death, but both were willing to accept it. We should be more like saints, and less like worldly suicide bombers.

The time is coming when we will depend upon Orthodox schools to educate our children, and Orthodox doctors to heal our illnesses. Establishing Orthodox institutions will be one way we can stand up for truth. It won’t be easy because the world will fight against that too.

I recently spoke with a psychiatrist who explained that if she didn’t ‘affirm’ someone’s gender identity, she risked losing her medical license. If this is true, the world will not tolerate Orthodox doctors standing for truth soon enough. Instead, she chose to refuse transgender clients.

Her example is what I am writing about today. She was willing to have her practice suffer by having fewer patients but avoided losing her practice altogether. She was willing to die, but didn’t want to die if possible. So long as she maintains her license she can help cure people.

She didn’t stand on the street corner and offer herself as a sacrifice. She stood quietly for the truth. She is willing when the time comes to lose her practice, but until it is required, she continues to heal.

The future will look different for the Church, but we know God will be victorious. His victory isn’t in this world. His victory is in the next. That was His challenge for us to lose our life for His sake and Gospel. We don’t need to fear worldly death. We just don’t have to seek it out either.

It probably isn’t your job to change the world’s view about gender by protesting and being put in jail. It is your job to remain loyal to God’s truth and to teach your children to follow God’s truth rather than the lies of the world. There is enough to do ‘at home’.