Look in the Mirror

Just take a glance around the room when you are in a public place. Ask yourself what struggles each person you see might be experiencing right now. Fight the temptation to see their smiles and laughter as joy. For all you know, they are suffering on the inside. The truth is. You don’t know.

The Lord said, “Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye. Do not give dogs what is holy; and do not throw your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under foot and turn to attack you. Ask, and it will be given you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For every one who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.

Matthew 7.1-8

We get so focused on noticing the sins of other people, we rarely take the time to imagine their pain and struggles. We think we are the only ones struggling. Worse yet, even we notice their pain, with think they have it ‘easy’ compared to our pain.

I have found the best way to avoid judgment is to remind myself I don’t know the struggles of another person. I only know what they have offered to share with me. By experience, people rarely share the fullness of their pain and struggles with others, even those close to them.

I have an exercise to help you, but first we must accept a premise. God knows absolutely everything about us. He knows our pain. He knows our joy. He knows our sorrow. He knows 100% about everything ‘on the inside’ of our lives.

By comparison to God, let’s say we know 95% of our own pain and struggles. Since we are not God, we can admit that we don’t know everything there is to know, even about ourselves. It may not be much, but honestly, we must admit He knows more about us than we know about ourselves.

Now ask yourself. As a percentage, what does the average person know about what is going on, ‘on the inside’ of our lives? Not including your closest confidants in life, how much of your internal struggles and pain or even joy does the average person know? 10%? 5%? 20%?

What does all this have to do with judging others? It is hard to judge when you see pain. Sympathy comes to our minds when we see pain, but rarely judgment. Since we don’t like to admit the sins we commit, (that’s the log in our eye) maybe we can show mercy instead.

This is all ‘just’ to get us in the mood to avoid judgment of others. When we stop judging and begin being merciful, our relationships change. Instead of wanting others to suffer for their sin, we find ourselves hoping they find comfort and mercy.

“I can only imagine the pain they feel,” replaces the desire for judgment. “Maybe they need my help,” replaces the temptation to resent their joy. It’s hard to judge when you sympathize with another person. Sympathy begins by looking in the mirror.