Eating or Fasting
As Orthodox Christians living in a secular world, fasting takes on an additional burden. It is easy to fast when we cook for ourselves, but when others are doing the cooking, things get a bit sticky. When the ‘others’ are not Orthodox, fasting sometimes becomes optional.
Now, you must understand that I would never characterize fasting as optional per se. Christ said, “When you fast,” He never said, “If you fast.” But there is a difference between how we fast and when we fast. Today’s blog combines two concepts.
Brethren, “all things are lawful,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful,” but not all things build up. Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor. Eat whatever is sold in the meat market without raising any question on the ground of conscience. For “the earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it.” If one of the unbelievers invites you to dinner and you are disposed to go, eat whatever is set before you without raising any question on the ground of conscience. But if some one says to you, “This has been offered in sacrifice,” then out of consideration for the man who informed you, and for conscience’ sake, do not eat it. For “the earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it.”
1st Corinthians 10-23-28
Based on Saint Paul’s teaching about eating foods offered to idols, we can be comforted that whether we fast or do not fast isn’t the issue, but why we choose to fast or not. For today I invite you to consider fasting when you are not the cook, when you are not in your own home.
Especially for converts to the Faith whose family members may not be Orthodox, fasting at the family home can be complicated. Your parents invite you for family dinner on a fasting day, but they cook a roast. Do you eat or fast?
Here’s where I include the typical disclaimer about your spiritual father. This blog cannot and must not replace the guidance you receive from your spiritual father. The answer is genuinely his to give, not mine. Saint Paul was guiding the Corinthains as their spiritual father.
Here’s my take on fasting outside your own home. If the host is not Orthodox and has no idea about your fasting practices, my advice would be to eat what is offered, but not to gorge yourself. Maintain the fast by eating less but not enough to be rude to the host.
If the host is not Orthodox but is completely aware of your fasting practices, the advice is a bit complicated. It could be the host doesn’t care about your faith and serves what you would prefer not to eat. This seems common among convert families that are not supportive of Orthodoxy.
If you live on the balance of keeping family peace and fasting, my advice is family peace. I might suggest in the future working to avoid accepting invitations on fasting days or keeping them to a minimum if possible. I don’t encourage converts to ‘cut off’ family members.
Then, there are the situations when the host IS Orthodox and theoretically also fasting, but you arrive and there isn’t one fasting option on the menu. This is very common unfortunately, but there is still an option. For this I turn again to Saint Paul.
If an Orthodox Christian knowingly offers you food that breaks the fast, I normally opt to not eat to the extent that I am able. Maybe I skip the meat in favor of a large salad even if the salad has cheese. The issue is not be a scandal.
This is all to say, fasting is a serious spiritual discipline, but it is not a weapon to be used against other people. ‘Just because’ you fast and others do not fast, doesn’t make you any better or holier than anyone else.
Christ also said, “But you, when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, so that you do not appear to men to be fasting, but to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly.” (Matthew 6.17-18)
When there are no other options, eat sparingly what is offered, and fast more strictly when you return home. Living in a secular world, with non-Orthodox family and friends, often means making slight adjustments when things are not in our control.
In the meantime, before you find yourself in another sticky situation, speak with your spiritual father, and get his advice. Being prepared will help you avoid being a scandal and find some peace. It is never about eating VS fasting. It is always about growing closer to God.
