Counterculture of Love

You hear it all the time. We’re supposed to be counterculture as Christians. We’re not supposed to be like the world. Yet, we spend most of our time being ‘just like’ the world when it comes to our personal relationships.

Brethren, putting away falsehood, let every one speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil. Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his hands, so that he may be able to give to those in need. Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for edifying, as fits the occasion, that it may impart grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, in whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, with all malice, and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave us.

Ephesians 4:25-32

With the possible exception of our closest relationships, we live the entire opposite of the advice in today’s reading from Saint Paul. We are angry, we lie, we steal, we are lazy at work, and we can’t ‘wait’ to say something nasty about our coworkers. We rarely edify if ever.

I know this because of the many confessions I have heard over the years. I also hear the pain from those on the receiving end of our bad behavior. I understand why Saint Paul says, “Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God.” I can only imagine how our behavior hurts God.

Still, God doesn’t walk away from us. Still, God waits patiently for our humility to ‘kick in’ and for us to reconcile our relationships. Still, God wants more from us than what we give to Him, and I don’t mean our money, although our financial greed is at the core of much of our pain.

I hope I got your attention, because there is a way out for us no matter how ‘far gone’ our relationships are. There is only way ‘out’ and that is the way of love. When we can muster up the courage to love as God loves, everything that ‘bothers us’ tends to melt away.

Just think how painful it would be if God were to hold us to the same standard that we hold others. We could never endure His wrath. The pain would be unbearable. You may even feel that pain right now. You may be looking for a way out. Here it is.

The first step is finding an Orthodox Church and walking inside. It doesn’t matter if there are services nor not. God is inside waiting for you, ‘even if’ you are not Orthodox. Light a candle and then walk up to one of the icons in the Narthex. Venerate the icon and go inside and sit.

God already knows why you’re there. He doesn’t ‘need’ to hear you say it but trust me your heart needs to hear you say it. Take a moment and start speaking to God. If you need help, here are a few words you can say to God. “Help to learn to love like You love.”

Now sit and be present with God for a bit. Allow your heart to feel His love. There is no right or wrong way to experience this moment of return. Just know that you are in God’s loving ‘real physical’ presence. He will speak to your heart.

When you’re ready, stand up, thank God and walk back into the world. Here’s the thing about God’s love. It can feel overwhelming at first because we’re just not accustomed to paying attention. God is always loving us, but we’re just now paying attention. That changes today.

As you return to the world you will probably notice how ‘out of whack’ the world is. Now that you know what God’s love ‘feels like’ you will begin to wonder why others can’t feel it. They’re in the same boat as you were just a few minutes earlier. Nobody is paying attention.

When we realize we’re not the only ones that were ignoring God’s love, it becomes a bit easier to begin loving them. We understand their pain because we are also hurting. Even if they are our ‘enemies’ we begin to realize we’re not all that different.

That’s were loving like God loves is found. When we realize ‘they’ hurt like we hurt, it becomes easier to love. It just takes a bit of shifting our attention away from our pain and toward their pain to see we’re all in the same boat. NOW we can really love.

That’s what I mean by counterculture. It is not ‘American’ to pay attention to the suffering of others instead of our own suffering. As long as nobody ignores OUR pain, we are willing to consider their pain, but not until our pain is acknowledged.

Having counterculture love is about loving like God, not loving like society teaches. “Help yourself than help others.” This is the message of society. That might make sense when your oxygen mask drops from the ceiling on the airplane. It doesn’t work with love.

Don’t be like other humans. Be like God.