Family Betrayal

In more than thirty years of ministry I have rarely witnessed pain greater than the pain of betrayal. We are often betrayed at work or friends. We can even feel betrayed by total strangers after we had reached out to help them. Nothing is worse than family betrayal.

Brethren, you become imitators of the churches of God in Christ Jesus which are in Judea; for you suffered the same things from your own countrymen as they did from the Jews, who killed both the Lord Jesus and the prophets, and drove us out, and displease God and oppose all men by hindering us from speaking to the Gentiles that they may be saved — so as always to fill up the measure of their sins. But wrath has come upon them at last! But since we were bereft of you, brethren, for a short time, in person not in heart, we endeavored the more eagerly and with great desire to see you face to face; because we wanted to come to you — I, Paul, again and again — but Satan hindered us. For what is our hope or joy or crown of boasting before our Lord Jesus at his coming? Is it not you? For you are our glory and joy.

1^st Thessalonians 2.14-20

In warning the Thessalonians about being persecuted by their own people, as it was already taking place in Jerusalem, he is warning us. The Jews had turned on their own people, and against God. We have all felt that personal level of betrayal. It hurts.

Admitting that it hurts isn’t enough. We need to move away from the pain and toward reconciliation. Saint Paul never ceased trying to reconcile the Jews with the Gospel of Christ. He was eventually put in prison for his efforts, but even in prison he desired reconciliation.

Like any other sin, betrayal separates us from God and our friends, but like every other sin, we can always be reconciled to God and our friends. We may even have been the betrayer. Either way, like Saint Paul we must be devoted to reconciliation.

It is always the hardest with family because we feel like family should ‘stick by our side’ no matter what. If you are older than three, you know this is never true. That is why it hurts so much. Betrayal from a stranger might be a sin, but it doesn’t hurt like family.

Tomorrow the Nativity Fast begins and it offers us a perfect opportunity for reconciliation. We will fast. We will read the Holy Scriptures. We will attend Divine Liturgy. Will we reach out to be reconciled to that one family member, or will we allow their betrayal to keep us apart?

At that time, some Pharisees came to Jesus and said to him, “Get away from here, for Herod wants to kill you.” And he said to them, “Go and tell that fox, ‘Behold, I cast out demons and perform cures today and tomorrow, and the third day I finish my course. Nevertheless I must go on my way today and tomorrow and the day following; for it cannot be that a prophet should perish away from Jerusalem.’ O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, killing the prophets and stoning those who are sent to you! How often would I have gathered your children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, and you would not! Behold, your house is forsaken. And I tell you, you will not see me until the time comes when you say, ‘Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!’”

Luke 13.31-35

We know what Christ would want us to focus on during the Fast. His entire ministry on Earth was a ministry of reconciliation. Saint Luke gives us a glimpse. Even though He was chased away, He ‘came back’ to reconcile. He always comes back.

God will always want us to work toward reconciliation. Just because it hurts more, don’t allow family betrayal to get in the way of reconciliation. Never give up. Always have hope.