Hold Nothing Against Them

As Christians we are taught not to judge. More than not to judge, we are taught to forgive. The two issues are more related than you might imagine. I hear people all the time say, “I can forgive them because God will ‘take care’ of them.” That is not the example of the Saints.

When Christ was on the Cross He said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do.” (Luke 23.34) Christ did not say, “I forgive you because My Father will ‘take care’ of you.” That isn’t forgiveness. It is vengeance. Christ taught forgiveness. Stephen followed His example.

In those days, Stephen, full of grace and power, did great wonders and signs among the people. Then some of those who belonged to the synagogue of the Freedmen (as it was called), and of the Cyrenians, and of the Alexandrians, and of those from Cilicia and Asia, arose and disputed with Stephen. But they could not withstand the wisdom and the Spirit with which he spoke. Then they secretly instigated men, who said, “We have heard him speak blasphemous words against Moses and God.” And they stirred up the people and the elders and the scribes, and they came upon him and seized him and brought him before the council, and set up false witnesses who said, “This man never ceases to speak words against this holy place and the law; for we have heard him say that this Jesus of Nazareth will destroy this place, and will change the customs which Moses delivered to us.” And gazing at him, all who sat in the council saw that his face was like the face of an angel. And the high priest said, “Is this so?” And Stephen said: “Brethren and fathers, hear me. The God of glory appeared to our father Abraham, when he was in Mesopotamia, before he lived in Haran, and said to him, ‘Depart from your land and from your kindred and go into the land which I will show you.’ Then he departed from the land of the Chaldeans, and lived in Haran. And after his father died, God removed him from there into this land in which you are now living; yet he gave him no inheritance in it, not even a foot’s length, but promised to give it to him in possession and to his posterity after him, though he had no child. “But it was Solomon who built a house for him. Yet the Most High does not dwell in houses made with hands; as the prophet says, ‘Heaven is my throne, and earth my footstool. What house will you build for me, says the Lord, or what is the place of my rest? Did not my hand make all these things?’ “You stiff-necked people, uncircumcised in heart and ears, you always resist the Holy Spirit. As your fathers did, so do you. Which of the prophets did not your fathers persecute? And they killed those who announced beforehand the coming of the Righteous One, whom you have now betrayed and murdered, you who received the law as delivered by angels and did not keep it.” Now when they heard these things they were enraged, and they ground their teeth against him. But he, full of the Holy Spirit, gazed into heaven and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing at the right hand of God; and he said, “Behold, I see the heavens opened, and the Son of man standing at the right hand of God.” But they cried out with a loud voice and stopped their ears and rushed together upon him. Then they cast him out of the city and stoned him; and the witnesses laid down their garments at the feet of a young man named Saul. And as they were stoning Stephen, he prayed, “Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.” And he knelt down and cried with a loud voice, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them.” And when he had said this, he fell asleep.

Acts 6:8-15; 7:1-5, 47-60

The example Saint Stephen gives us is greater than mere forgiveness. It is love. Even though the crowd was stoning him to death, Stephen didn’t hold anything against them. Better yet, He asked God, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them.”

How do we react when people ‘sin’ against us? Just because we ‘allow’ God to ‘get back’ at them, doesn’t make it forgiveness. It would be like the leader of a mob family allowing someone else to ‘take out’ his opponent thinking he was innocent. It doesn’t absolve us from guilt or sin.

True forgiveness is praying that God forgives them. True forgiveness is loving them and not holding anything against them. Today I wish to offer you two practical tools to assist you in your forgiveness. These tools help me and I pray they help you.

First, I invite you to memorize the 50^th Psalm. It is the Psalm of repentance of David. My favorite verse is, “Against You, You only have I sinned, and done that which is evil in Your sight.” These are powerful words that remind us that ALL SIN is against God.

If my sin is only against God, then everyone’s sin is only against God. We might ‘feel’ the sin, like Stephen felt the stoning, but the sin isn’t against us. The sin is against God. If the sin against God, we have no business holding anything against anyone.

It might sound silly but trust me on this. If you can find the strength to remind yourself the sin isn’t against you, it becomes much easier to forgive. It becomes much easier to pray that God forgives them. It becomes easier to love them.

My second bit of advice might also sound silly. Parents will understand this advice more than anyone. If your child is ill and vomits on you, nobody would consider for one moment to blame the child for the vomit. Vomit is merely a symptom of a child’s illness.

Instead of blaming the child, a loving parent searches for the cure. A loving parent asks God to help their child instead of judging their child. A loving parent doesn’t walk away from the child. A loving parent remains with the child to nurture the child back to health.

When someone ‘sins against’ us, instead of blaming the person, remind yourself the sin is a symptom of spiritual illness. If you can find a way to think of ‘their sin’ as vomit, love will cause your heart to pray for their healing rather than their judgment.

I would never suggest the path to forgiveness is an easy one. It isn’t easy forgiving and praying for those who hurt us. I would suggest it gets ‘easier’ when we have the right mindset about sin. It gets easier when we ‘want’ to forgive them rather than judgment them.

That is the example Saint Stephen offers us in today’s reading. He was only following the example of Christ on the Cross, which we ‘just witnessed’ during Holy Week. It wasn’t so long ago that we have forgotten Christ words on the Cross.

“Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do.” If Christ doesn’t hold anything against them, and Saint Stephen doesn’t hold anything against them, then maybe we can find it in our heart to do the same.